During the only Bible study I’ve ever been to, the first question asked was what kinds of person you think are blessed. The first thing came to my mind was, people who can be with their loved ones and be loved. Then I thought about it longer and deeper, different ideas came up, and when I finally started to think about why I didn’t feel that I was blessed, I found my answer – blessed people are people with goals. They are happy simply because they know what they want. If they want a happy marriage, they strive to make it work, no matter how hard it can be sometimes; if they want a successful career, they work hard to prepare themselves for it; if they want, say stuffed animals, they simply go and win them! As Dr. Pausch put it, brink walls are there for a reason: they let us prove how badly we want things. If you don’t know what you want, walls are just there for absolutely no reasons, and then you’ll be frustrated. I still can’t say academia is for me, but at least I know now that operations management is something that I’d love to do. So, in that sense, I should be happier than I was four months ago.
Now, about rules. You do need rules in order to achieve your goals, but I grew up with pretty much no rules at all. But now I am amazed by the power of rules. About two weeks ago, I printed a little piece of paper saying “No Internet browsing in office, a rule – but not an option” and posted on my desk. After that, indeed, I haven’t been to any websites, except reading WSJ, when I am in office. It’s really amazing. All the problems I had with Internet, shopping, reading random stuff, went away, well, at least when I am in office. And given that I spend at least 8 hours in office everyday, it’s not bad, not bad at all. I don’t want to say things like living everyday as if it’s the last day of your life, it’s way too cliche, but everyday, step a bit closer to the walls that you want to break.