iLOG

I MUST BE HONEST: I AM OUT OF CONTROL. I NEED TO GET MY ACT TOGETHER AND DO THE RIGHT THING. I CANNOT JUST DRIFT AROUND. STICK TO YOUR SCHEDULE. DO IT ONE BY ONE. THIS IS THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN GET THINGS DONE.

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I FIND I AM LOSING CONFIDENCE. THIS IS STRANGE, GIVEN HOW ARROGANT I HAVE BEEN. WHY? THE ENVIRONMENT. CURRENTLY, I AM NOT FULLING ENGAGING IN ANYTHING. BUT WITHOUT PRESSURE, I CAN HARDLY PERFORM. I NEED TO BUILD THE ROUTINE, WITH MODERATE PRESSURE. OTHERWISE, I AM LOOSING ALL MY STRENGTH.

TO DO THAT, I MUST FORGE MY HABIT. IT TAKES DELIBERATE PRACTICE. DO IT EVERYDAY, TILL IT STICKS. WRITE DOWN YOUR THOUGHTS.

INDEED, MY ROUTINE WAS RELATIVELY SIMPLE: RUN, READ, WRITE. ALL ABOUT WORK.

BUT NOW I HAVE A FAMILY. I NEED TO FIGURE OUT THAT PART TOO. HOW DO YOU BALANCE THE TWO? I NEED TO HAVE THE DEDICATED TIME FOR FAMILY. EACH NEED PROTECTION, JUST AS MORNING ROUTINES.

YOU MUST DO IT. YOU CANNOT JUST SAY IT. HOW? I HAD THIS CONFUSION FOUR YEARS AGO. THAT’S WHY I CREATED THIS BLOG. IT SEEMS I AM BACK TO SQUIRE ONE. NEED TO DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN. IF THAT IS THE CASE, THEN YOU HAVE PLENTY OF EXPERIENCE OF WHAT WORK, WHAT NOT.

LET’S GET OVER THIS AFTERNOON FOR TWO MEETINGS. THIS EVENING, RUN 30 MIN AT 9PM. THEN WRITE 30 MIN. REPEAT EVERYDAY NIGHT. NO ESCAPE. THIS IS THE ONLY WAY TO GET THE THINGS DONE.

I FIND IT IS HARD TO FOCUS. TOO MUCH DISTRACTIONS FROM PN. MUST GET RID OF IT. HOW? DO IT IN THE MORNING BUT NO INTERNET. THIS WAY I CAN CONTROL MY ENVIRONMENT. ALSO, I NEED TO WORK IN THE LIBRARY. THIS IS THE ONLY WAY TO KEEP YOU WORKING. DO IT EVERYDAY, TILL YOU ARE DONE.

iLOG

THIS IS A THOUGH TIME. YOU MUST STEP UP YOUR GAME. CHANGE YOUR MIND SET. DO WHAT IT TAKES. THERE IS NO OTHER WAY TO GROW.

CALM DOWN. DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO. WRITE DOWN THEM. DO IT ONE AT A TIME. FOCUS AND GET IT DONE.

iLOG

THE TEACHING EVALUATION IS HORRIBLE, THE WORST IN MY CAREER. AS ALWAYS, THERE ARE TWO SIDES OF THE STORY. ON MY PART, I WAS LESS ENTHUSIASTIC TO TEACH. I GUESS I AM JUST GETTING BORED OF DOING THE SAME THING AGAIN AND AGAIN. ON THE STUDENTS SIDE, THIS BATCH IS THE WORST IN YEARS. THE AVERAGE GMAT IS BOTTOM 25%. BUT MY CLASSES DO REQUIRE MODERATE INTELLIGENCE.

I FEEL BLUE AND DEPRESSED. IT SEEMS NOTHING GOING IN MY WAY. WHAT SHOULD I DO? SUCK IT UP AND MOVE ON. I AM OLD ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN REALITY AND OTHERS’ FEELING.

GOT TO LIVE A FOCUSED LIFE. GET YOUR GOALS STRAIGHT. FOCUS ON ACHIEVING THAT.

iLOG

DSM: this one has been dragged for too long. Need to finish it. There are several things head. The main issue is to make the point of why learning is important, and how incorporating it changes the incentives substantially.

I have read enough. Now it is time to finish it. You must write the first draft, so that you can have one to improve. Otherwise, you have nowhere to go. Just do it.

iLOG

TODO:
1. DSM: 1) INTRO, 2) LITERATURE REVIEW, 3) LETTER, 4) PROOFS.
2. WEDDING: MEET THE FLORIST, 4:30PM
3. CAR: SEARCH.
4. ASK TRISHA FOR FOOD.
5. RUN 1 HR.